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T. James Madison: If someone is my hero on USENET, it's
Tjames. Dictator of alt.usenet.tjames.
"Jesse Garon": The Golden Boy
of USENET, Inventor of Garonic Jessameter, Lord of alt.culture.jesse-garon. This man is
fully justified.
Michele Tepper: One of those
flies in the ointment. To read her is to love her. Don't love her too much,
though, for nose-breaking is always an option.
Alex "Yonderboy" Suter: Killfiling him would be like killfiling Snoopy!
Beverley "W e d n e s d a y"
White: A net.personality in transition. Resident of alt.fan.wednesday.
David B. DeLaney: That
guy who keeps sending me that "helpful" email. I think he may eventually try to visit my
house to get me to stop asking about his capacity as the keeper of the Net.Legends
FAQ. Coiner of the term "Mad Newgrouper" and subject of alt.bonehead.david-delaney.
Rich Holmes: Responsible
for the "not Rich Holmes" .sig virus and frequenter of alt.fan.warlord.
Lee S.
Bumgarner: Keeper of the Great
Renaming FAQ and the guy who got miffed at my email and removed me from
his WWW page.
Kristin Buxton: She
bothered me in email, and it's all her fault.
Andrew C. Bulhak: He
took the original vote for the new Kibo and left alt.discordia
because he thought I was attempting to take it over. (SSSHHH!!!)
Jeff
X. Mink: WANTED: Fertile women willing to help breed an
army to take over the Earth.
Laura "Random"
Valentine: She has been seen with Mick Jagger on the WWW.
Tim Pierce:
"No." Subject of alt.bonehead.tim-pierce.
Joel K. Furr: Used
to Newgroup for Food. Now
he's another Power-Hungry Megalomaniac(tm). Unbelievably, he has actually
been seen with Kibo. The
world may have ended at that moment. Fortunately, he has me in his
killfile. Subject of alt.fan.joel-furr.
David Guntner: One of the Knights of No (retired). Actually, I heard of him before I did Kibo or Joel Furr. He has that wonderful touch of biting sarcastic "helpfulness" about him, and gave me a truly Spiffo perl-script.
Joe St.
Sauver: He is to be congratulated for being The One Who Convinced
a Knight of No to Hang His Armour Up (David Guntner).
Matt Schnierle: The
(retired) Mad Rmgrouper (a term I coined). I'm considering turning his
name into a verb, such that "You have been Schnierled." Keeper of the alt.conspiracy.usenet-cabal
FAQ and inspiration of alt.fan.mad-rmgrouper.
Michael Grubb: Try
convincing him to take your alt.* newsgroup.
Tom Servo: The Mad Newgrouper. This guy will create any alt.* newsgroup without discussion or intelligent process, no matter how idiotic the group may be. Beware his error-filled instructions on how to create an alt.* newsgroup.
Dave Barr: Writer of
the fabled "So You Want
to Create an Alt Newsgroup."
Brian Edmonds: The
alt.music.* guy who referred to me in email as a "lone vigilante." Knows more
about creating and finding musical resources on the Internet than just about
anyone.
Jeff "Spam King"
Slaton: He makes no bones about it. People pay him to flood
unrelated newsgroups with advertisements of various sorts, and he's
escaping responsibility.
Helena Kobrin:
The femme fatale of alt.religion.scientology, she'll make you turn over
your illicit documents and file a lawsuit. Defending the Scientology
faith, she's become a legend on USENET.
Dr. Roger David
Carasso: Founder of the Internet, Celebrity, Net.god. The fellow
who revealed to me the secret to being a net.god.
Ted
Holden: Won an argument over talk.origins, proving once and for all that
Venus was ejected from Jupiter, leaving that big red spot behind as
evidence. Subject of alt.fan.splifford, named for his famous
Splifford the Bat .signature.
J.D. Falk:
Moderator of misc.news.internet.announce
and vocal proponent of responsible reporting on Internet news. User of
Many Sigs and sometime fighter in the War Against Spam. Laird of the Manor
at CyberNOTHING.
Zoogz Rift: The
Liquid MoaMo and hero of alt.fan.zoogz-rift.
John_-_Winston:
John Winston became widely known on Usenet through wide and erratic
posting of articles relating to UFOs, angels, fringe science, alternative
medicine, and anything else odd and unusual that strikes his fancy.
Resident net.god of alt.fan.john-winston. More
information can be found at John
Winston's Corner.
The BOB(c): Archbishop in the Church of the Cactus and general Loud Person on USENET. I used to reside in a couple specific groups, but I've retired of late to alt.fan.the-bob and enjoy small stints on the rest of USENET. Compiler/editor of the Complete and Accurate "How to Create an Alt Newsgroup."
Paul S. Phillips:
Thinks that I maintain this list in a failing attempt to get buddy-buddy
with people more influential than I am.
Brian
Reid: Net.Legend and creator of the alt.* hierarchy.
David Sewell:
USENET classicist and analyst of the culture and direction of the Internet
as a whole. Appears frequently in those groups which contain or at least
entertain serious discussion of the more esoteric aspects of USENET, and
is the author of occasional Swiftian satires on spammers and net.kooks.
Douglas Lathrop:
Lord of Stately Paper Cut Manor and sage of alt.society.generation-x.
Bob Allisat: Vocal on
free speech and known for his incessant delightfully crossposted ascerbic
poetry. He is
sane. You are not.
Doctress Neutopia:
That icky Neutopian stuff of which
I am the Bane. I don't think she even knows that any of us are really out
here.
Daniel Dern: Former editor of Internet World and author of books on the Net; one of the masters of Internet-based humor. Active on the news.admin and net abuse groups, where he defends the principle that "USENET is a privilege and not a right."
Dr. Joe Baptistia:
Voted Kook of the Month for July 1994. All-around Canadian political
loon. Note to parents: Some questionable material. Subject of alt.fan.joe-baptista.
Discord: The name says
it all. She knew me back when I was dating Artemis. If only she and I
could collaborate on something, we could probably be pals.
The USENET
Oracle: The Designated Sage of USENET. Found on rec.humor.oracle. Beware the "ZOT!"
BIFF!!!11!!:
HEY D00DZ!1!! THIS IZ K()()L!!1!!
Richard Sexton: Invented
the original BIFF and popularized the practice of setting followups to be
crossposted to misc.test to see if people
were awake. Coined the term "*plonk*".
Jack Sarfatti: A
physicist who posts on sci.physics. He
believes in faster-than-light and backwards-in-time communication.
L. Detweiler: Notorious
and infamous net.legend and crackpot extraordinaire.
Melinda
"Bob" Casino: A Good Guy (Actually a CHYK). Really. (How can
someone named "Casino" not be a Good Guy?)
Elf Sternberg: Legendary
in alt.sex.*. The keeper of the alt.sex FAQ. Note to parents: Some
questionable material.
Thomas Boutell:
Frequenter of talk.bizarre and keeper
of the ever-expanding World
Wide Web FAQ.
Brad Templeton:
Founder and Owner of ClariNet. "Reposting a ClariNet article to any Usenet
newsgroup is a violation of copyright. However, making fun of Brad
Templeton is perfectly legal."
Terra Goodnight: One
of those people your mother was going to warn you about, but she never got
around to it because she became a follower.
Spatch: That
Spatula Guy on alt.stupidity. Really.
The Jihad to
Destroy Barney: They're serious, and they have many interesting
and creative ways of realizing their ultimate goal, the destruction of the
Evil Purple Demon.
The Church of the
SubGenius: The spawn of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. Slack! (Note that The BOB(c) is in no way
connected with this organization.)
Alt Dot Bigfoot
(strong and free): Followers of the wisdom of Bigfootdamus and one-time
invaders of other newsgroups, using the weapons of wit, intelligence, and
humor. In their alt.bigfoot home, they
accidentally spawned the dreaded alt.syntax.tactical. Will they rise
to conquer USENET again? It all rests with the Supreme Commander.
BOB(c)NET:
The Club BOB(c) of the Internet. An organization dedicated to the
pursuit, discussion, and execution of the arts and philosophy in an
unorthodox manner.
USENET Volunteer Votetakers:
The Knights Who Say "Ack." Heavily rumored to be part of the USENET Cabal, the UVV are the people to turn
to when you want to create a new "Big 8" newsgroup.
Alt.fan.warlord
Inner Circle: You may not know who they are, but they know who
YOU are. Rid yourself of your BUAGs and BUAFs.
Kibology: This religion/science formed around and from James "Kibo" Parry, a wit and humorist. Beable, my friends, beable (a term popularized by Ted Frank).
Talk.Bizarre: Read. Learn. Evolve. Beware BoB teCh.
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